What I need to remember

Need to take a minute to write this down so that I can remember this in the years to come when the tears will flow freely and the tantrums will come quickly.

I remember the hospital when my babies were born.  I couldn't go see them until I was able to get out of bed and into a wheel chair.  Then the nurse took me to see my little babies.  There they were  with so many tubes, and wires.  I couldn't hold them, I couldn't snuggle them, I could do nothing.  My poor babies sedated and intubated.  They could only lie there and let the machines work.  These three fragile infants with scared little spirits who had come to this world before their bodies were ready.

Kira

Preston with his light goggles

Kinsley

Preston

Kira on the lights

I would sit and stare at my babies as the hours past, willing them to get better.  Hoping for the day when I could hold them close.  I remember I would listen to the machines and alarms beeping and the ventilator pumping air into their little lungs.  I could hear the babies in the next  room crying and making noise.  I would look at my little ones and wish they could make noise too.  I would wish they could cry. I knew that if only I could hear them cry, I would know they were strong and healthy.

Kira in her Isolet

Kinsley on the lights

Kira

Kinsley on the vent

Preston on the vent

Today I hear them cry.  They cry and cry and cry.  It makes me smile to hear them because I know they are getting stronger every day.  I think back to those days in the NICU and it makes my heart hurt to remember those first few days.  But if I didn't think about how grateful I am that they can cry, there are days that I might just cry right along with them.

Remembering those early days makes days like this more pleasant.

A quick note about Kira

Each of the babies has distinct things they do that pull my heart strings and make me love them best. I long ago decided that my favorite of my children was whoever I was holding at the time. All of my sweet children take turns being my favorites all day long, because truly they are all my favorites. However, tonight I had a special moment with Kira, and realized she does something with me the others don't, so I thought I would share.

Kira more than my other children loves the way I smell. If she is fussy or having a hard time falling asleep, she usually just wants to be held. But here is the cute part. Whenever I pick her up she turns her face right into me and smashes her little nose against me. As soon as she can position her little self so her nose is tucked right into my side, she will fall asleep in seconds. Then if I get up or move or startle her in any way, she will smash her face even deeper into my side and breathe really fast in and out, then she will settle in and sleep again. I first noticed this with a little frustration because as she would push her face into my side she would spit out the binkie, like that added plastic kept her from pushing her nose in just far enough. Plus I was so concerned with her smothering that I tried hard to keep her from being so smashed into me. But I have to admit, when I pick her up and she turns her head into me and closes her eyes and breaths deeply, almost like she can breath me right into her little body, I admit, it melts my heart, and for that moment when we are all alone and she is my favorite. She gets to enjoy my favoritism until someone else needs me, I put her down and the moment I'm holding another little body, that child is my favorite.

3 at once

Jared here writing this:

So, it was about time that I try to be almost as cool as Kimber and feed all three all at once.  I arranged the kiddos and propped them up along with their bottle.  Things were going good, except I wish I had 3 arms.  But, for the most part, I was doing it!  I felt so good about myself.

I continued feeling "Awesome" and decided I would try to be like Kimber (again) and take 2 babies over to the changing table, instead of changing them one at a time.  I took Kinsley and Preston over and was changing Kinsley first.  No big deal, just a bit cramped is all.  I started Preston feeling all confident and sure of myself.  He was exposed and I reached down to grab a diaper.  His little fire hose began to do it's thing and caught me off guard.  That totally saturated my feeling cool and awesome, literally.  Not only did I need to change my outfit and Preston's, but I needed to change Kinsley's as well.  I learned my lesson quickly that if I was to ever again change 2 at once, I need to pick the 2 girls, not a girl and a boy that has a wicked fire hose!

Bottles

Just thought this would be a fun project.  I hope you all enjoy the video clip.

A smile!

It was some odd, abby-normal hour of the morning (if you could call it morning) and I was up feeding the babies.  I was feeding Preston and Kinsley with Kira next in line.  Kinsley was upset with something and was screaming so loudly that I was surprised the entire house didn't wake up.  Kira was done waiting her turn and was approaching the time where her body eats her stomach for protein and satiety.  Kira let out her death defying scream in harmony with Kinsley to produce a very discordant tune.  Even though I was still under control, I just felt overwhelmed and thought I was nearing the end of my rope.  I looked at Preston, finished with his meal.  He let out a simple smile that seem to tell me a little secret.  It was as if he was told earlier, before he came into this world, that my job, our job as parents was going to be extremely challenging, and at times, just plain laughable.  It was as if he was reminded of this knowledge and gave a smile to say, "oh, that's what they were talking about."  "It does seem a bit noisy"

Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray

I'm sitting here on the couch while the babies are grunting in my damp and soiled t-shirt wondering what is the purpose of using spit-up cloths if I always smell like sour milk and if my shirt is always slightly wet?  I use 3 spit-up cloths per feeding, and my t-shirt always seems to take the brunt of it.

My mind is going through the scenes of Groundhog Day with Bill Murray and every day at home seems like it could very well be a sequel to Groundhog Day, starring well...me.  However, the difference between the two "movies" is that Bill Murray got a full nights rest and his repeating days at least ended when he laid his head on the pillow and woke up the next morning by the sound of his alarm clock, not by the sound of a unique trio of screaming babies calling out for their next meal.

Despite my disgusting t-shirt and seemingly repeated days, life is SO good!  I just have it all.  The other day, I was home alone with all of our children.  It was lunch time and I carefully prepared the older kids lunch ahead of time because I knew the triplets would want lunch around the same time.  Sure enough, I was right and my preparations paid off.  Except, I didn't anticipate me being in one room feeding the triplets and the older kids being in the other room, "eating their lunch" and me not having a watchful eye on them.  The triplets were doing fine, sucking down their ounces of milk, however, the older kids seemed to have a difficult time staying focused on lunch without my gentle reminders to each their sandwich or apples or whatever.  Time passed with them finally completing their lunch in no shorter than 1 hour.  I told Lincoln that it was time to wash his hands and face, collect toys for quiet time, and head to bed for his moment of alone time.  Before I could check on him to make sure he was staying on task, I needed to finish feeding the triplets, change them, burp them, wrap them, and place them back to bed.  I lost track of time, trying to complete the tasks at hand for the triplets to be safely secured, back to bed.  I sat down, wondering what I was going to have for lunch and my mind trailed off to "lunch."  It was then that I realized that I hadn't checked on Lincoln.  In fact, I didn't hear him at all.  I could not recall that I had heard him turn the bathroom sink on to wash his hands and face, or recall the sound of him grabbing his recent favorite toy, a cordless play drill, and making sure it would still make that awful sound of "drilling."  I went searching for him, first to the kitchen, then to the bathroom, then to Katelyn's room, only to find him in his room, quietly laying down on his bed, "reading" a book.  He was so obedient!  I couldn't believe it!

After I gave him a big kiss and told him he was "a good boy," I read his facial expression of, "dude, what's wrong with you?!?"  "You told me to go to quiet time, and here I am," he continued, "what's your problem?"

"Two-Old"

We celebrated Lincoln’s second birthday.  Because of the fragile nature the triplets are still in and the high risk for diseases like RSV, we didn’t have a large birthday party.  Thankfully, he is forgiving and was glad just to have a birthday cake and presents.  His birthday dinner was unknowingly brought in by wonderful relief society members and he really enjoyed his meal.  Kimber quickly devoured her dinner so she could get a head start on feeding the triplets in order for Lincoln to have just a few minutes of birthday time.  When asked how old he is, Lincoln replies “two-old” which of course means, “two-years-old.”  And of course, through the rest of the evening, Lincoln’s sweet and melodic singing voice said, “happy birthday you...happy birthday you...happy birthday you...”